I lost my two best friends last year. My dog BabyGirl and my friend Bobby a couple of months later. She had such a cheerful spirit and loved everyone! She didn't know she was missing a leg.
Always at the door when I came home, would go the back door and let a bark to let her out to potty. I found her at 3years old, Golden Retriever and Lab mix. At night she would sleep in the hallway between our bedrooms. She was my fishing buddy and boy did we have fun. She took Christmas pictures with Santa and pictures went out to Grandma and her Aunties. Funny how that tail was always wagging.
My friend was ill and stayed at home so she had it made in the shade. She was spoiled rotten but always minded and hung that head low when she got into trouble.
She started loosing weight and I took her in. She still keep up with that energy outside chasing squirrels and I almost backed out of taking her to the vet. She was diagnosed with kidney failure. "How she was so peppy this morning?" "Maybe she's getting better."
The vet said she was at her last stages and nothing could be done.
There was no such thing was kidney transplants for dogs and it was best for me to put her to sleep that day so I wouldn't see her suffer. I spent hours in his office with her crying. Maybe the test is wrong.
He didn't think I should be with her when putting her to sleep. He felt I was taking it too hard but up to this day I wonder if she understood that. I feel like I abandoned her.
That look she gave me when I had to walk away. Her ears just perked up and had that tilt in her head. I still cry thinking about it. Does she forgive me? Is my friend with her? Is there a doggy heaven? Does she still know I miss her everyday? I have never hurt so much in my life. Her ashes are still here with me and I can't let go. I want her to go with me. All of you would of loved her. She had the kindest spirit. Thanks for listening.
Babygirl knows that you did the best you could and she loves you still. Please do not blame yourself because your best friend would not want that.